Are you Shy?

Are you shy? You are not by yourself! Many people have this trait and I know myself because though most people that know me would not say that I am shy? But I am and I have learned to deal with it myself.


There are many articles and books out there to help you overcome being shy. But today lets just touch on a few things that could help you get over your own issues. Remember first that it will take practice and a concerted effort on your part.

First thing in the morning when you get up raise yourself to the full height get in front of a mirror and say out loud “I feel great”. When you are done getting ready for work get back in front of the mirror and repeat the morning affirmation “I feel great.” As you go through the day repeat the same. By repeating this over and over it will become ingrained in your subconscious. Don't walk around saying this out loud, lest your co-workers think you have lost it.

Second thing you need to do is to look good. This works how do you fell when you get new clothes or a hair cut. I know when I walk out of the barbershop I not only feel better but having a fresh hair cut seems to give me a boost in confidence. It is a fact that the better you look, the better you will perform.
The mere fact that not only does looking good give you confidence, but your boss and fellow workers have more confidence also.

The third thing you can do to build self-confidence is to take a risk. Do something that you may not have done in the past. Taking small risks and succeeding will bring you confidence and even small risks met with failure can be considered learning experiences. Don't try doing something you have not been trained for or dangerous, use good judgment but put yourself out there. Accomplishment breed s confidence and respect. Remember dad said “Can't never did anything.”

Rejection is a natural thing, it is not necessarily and thing you have done and you should not take it personally. People do not like everyone and people generally have their own opinions, likes, or dislikes and it is not something you should take personally. You also are able to make choices of the people you like or dislike. Just remember be the best you can be and this will come through to others. This is normal part of life and and there are people out there that will recognize this and gravitate to you.

Here is a final thought. Find a hobbie or something you do that you enjoy. Something that is a stretch for you. Try taking singing or dancing or find a instrument you can take lessons for. Find a hobbie like gardening, woodworking, remote control cars or maybe even sky diving. When you find success with something, you gain confidence. Do something interesting or something you wanted to try and you will find others with those interest also. Remember each little success will remove a little shyness.

A shy person can change if they truly want to. It is not always easy and you are the only one to change this. Shyness has many of the same emotions of fear, you have to take charge of your fears to overcome your shyness!

How do you get motivated?

How do you get motivated?


How do you get motivated? Do you see friends that have more “things”, nicer cars, a bigger house? Do drive by nicer homes and wish you could live in one of these? Is your job a boring dead end job without possibility of getting better? Is it your appearance or the clothes you can't afford to buy? If this sounds like you, then you need to accept responsibility and face the facts. It all starts with you!

Here are a few thoughts that may help you to light that inner flame to get you started on another path. It may not be easy, but the journey starts with that first step.


1. Goals!

Simply thinking of what you want is just not good enough. Find pictures of what you want, is it a house? Find that picture and stick it up where you see everyday. How about that car, yep put it next to the house. If it is an education? Find a blank diploma at the office store fill it in and place it with the others. It is easy to forget what you are working for if you don't have the constant reminders. We have all heard living up to expectations, well change those expectations. A few years ago there was a movie out called “The Bucket List” the premise was that a man found out he was dying and made out a list of the things he wanted to do, in the time he had left. Don't Wait!

2. Get Mad!

You need to get real mad, angry about the unsatisfying life you lead. That dull, boring, tedious job, the crappy pay and the piece of crap job you hate going to everyday. It is alright to be angry in this fashion about things you can change, because believe me you can change these things. The anger will give you the energy to get yourself the motivation to make these changes. Remember you need to channel this anger inward because it is you that can change these things. You do not blame others, you look at yourself and say I am better, I can change these things. Write them on a card and then get it laminated and carry it with you and look at your list daily.

3. Remember we all have, just so much time!

As I said above, make that “Bucket List” but remember what time it is. You don't have to act like this is your last day, but be ever reminded that we don't know the schedule, so you need to be urgent enough to enjoy your rewards. Will it take extra effort? Yes anything we do is better than the nothing so many do. Will there be some setbacks, yes but you won't give up, you may have to try another path. We would probably have never heard of Michael Jordan if he gave up when he was cut from his H.S. Basketball team. Shoot for the easier goals and gain the confidence as you conquer them. Keep all of your goals insight and keep those reminders where you see them.

4. Be Unique

Remember the old saying “keep doing the same thing and keep getting the same results”. It is time to be you. I'm not suggesting that you be wildly radical but you don't have to be a banana (one of the bunch). Find ways to be free of just meekly going along. If you have a difference of opinion stop just keeping it to yourself. Be recognizable, be unique, have your opinions and express them when you know it is appropriate. If you are a motivated leader then you can't hide in the flock. Step up be the tiger in the pride and get in front, it is your choice.

5. Fear.

The biggest obstacle most people will face is their own fear. Don't let it stand in your way, fight it, don't show it, and by all means understand it is a thought, not a wall. Many times we defeat ourselves by being to scared to try our way. Live a brave life, don't wake up someday and say I could have if I had dared to do this.

Motivating Yourself is Step #1

Motivating Yourself is Step #1

The motivated person is selling themselves everyday. You are the product and to be successful you must first be a quality product yourself.

It doesn't matter what business or profession you are in the first thing you need to do is to sell yourself.

The following is a few tips to help you accomplish your first task, that is to sell yourself.

1. You must believe in yourself.

Successful people first have confidence in themselves. We are not talking about ego or “attitude” but, it is the right attitude. Constructive thinking or a positive attitude is the best way to approach business or life in general. Successful people take on business or life with a positive attitude and are consistent in the way they appear to others. The ability to remain calm, confident, and consistent is the key to your ability to succeed, it is your own self-expectation that generally leads to a positive outcome.

Guard against a “I can't do it Attitude”. My father always said “Can't never did anything”, think about that stay positive it is your first step.

2. The Product is Yourself.

Look the part. The way you appear to others, is a key to selling the product is how it looks. The way you dress, your hair, the color’s you wear, you need to appear the way people expect you should be. Don't be swayed by others dress, be correct in your style.

One of the first tips I received from a boss was to be sure I polished my shoes. Simply said look the part!

3. Smile.

This is easy not a perpetual smile but a pleasant open face.

4. When talking to the client use their name.

Even if business is less formal these days be sure you repeat their name and be respectful in using proper names. You can use the old “Bond” (my name is Bond-James Bond) to insure they remember yours as well.

5. Be an Active Listener.

Insure your customer's confident that you are interested and are listening, by nodding your head or looking them in the eye. If they feel you are not listening or are disinterested you have lost the battle before it starts. Be active in your response to what their issues are and you have taken the first crucial step in gaining their confidence.

6. Be Positive

Be a positive person. Part of being Motivated is to be a positive person yourself. So when you are asked how are things going, you can't be negative in your response. It is going to be fine! Life is getting better because, you have a solution. We work together and things happen, together we make things happen. It is a confidence from within yourself that keeps you motivated and going forward. The leadership you display is your inner motivation and that is what motivates others.

Are you satisfied with where you are or do you want to be better, in business, with your home, or just in yourself. It takes motivation and it starts with you. Don't let yourself be a victim. Look within it you are the starter, the product, and the engine. Be engaging, be attentive, be warm and friendly, treat others the way you would want to be treated. Remember you are first the product, it is the first step if you are to become the motivating force.